Affluenza: Since when is being rich a mitigating factor?

A 16 year old Texas boy confessed to intoxicated manslaughter. After stealing two cases of beer with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit he drove his pickup truck and, while speeding, slammed into four pedestrians who were fixing a flat tire on another vehicle. Two of the teen's passengers where also seriously injured. However at his sentencing he wasn't given the maximum penalty of 20 years in jail . . . in fact he wasn't given any jail time. He was placed on ten years probation and will be sent to rehab in Newport Beach, California. Now what mitigating factors could possibly have been involved to leave this teen and his very blatant disregard for human life with such a lenient sentence?

He is too rich.

Yes, his defense team claimed Affluenza as a mitigating factor to explain why this teen was incapable of controlling his behavior. The life of wealth, privilege, and few limits was apparently seen as a cause for the courts to take pity and not send him to jail but rather protect him. His attorney argued that jail would not give him the therapy he needed to overcome the disadvantage of being rich. Seriously?

I have heard of being poor as a mitigating factor. After all those who are poorer usually  have less parental involvement (both parents may be working or there may only be a single parent). Also those in poorer areas have less opportunities for education. So while ignorance of the law isn't a valid excuse the lack of education can be a mitigating factor. But I don't see how an affluent teen did not know that stealing, underage drinking, and speeding were illegal and dangerous activities. I'm not saying that the rich should be held to a higher standard but perhaps at least the same standard? And if, by the way, his wealth and easy life of few limits and no consequences is what caused this behavior didn't it just get reinforced? I think that means jail and a real consequence might be exactly what justice would demand. If he had been shop lifting or speeding and pulled over or just causing normal teen trouble and a judge ruled that he needed probation and not jail I could be a little more understanding. But this teen acted in a way that caused the death of four innocent people.

So he has an overweening sense of entitlement? That means he shouldn't be held responsible? He was 16. Not 10 or 12. He was old enough to know that drinking and driving was wrong. Unfortunately he was also old enough to know that Mom and Dad will get him out of trouble. And he was right.

This wasn't a case of him cheating on a test or cutting class. He showed a blatant disregard for human life by his actions. And I find it hard to swallow that we are to believe he didn't know what he was doing or that he was incapable of controlling himself. I mean, yes, an upbringing without limits would result in poor impulse control and probably a decrease in frontal lobe activity. But  I believe the decreased frontal lobe argument has already been attempted as a defense and it didn't work.

In my opinion it is insulting to the public and to the justice system that this new defense of Affluenza was even entertained let alone accepted.

It's only five hours away . . .want to go?

So a few weeks ago my Mom and I are sitting in our living room watching Miracle, about the 1980 USA hockey team. It is at the part when Herb Brooks is sitting on a bench outside watching ice skaters. My Mom comments that she has always wanted to go to Lake Placid, it is supposed to be beautiful. Then she asks how far is it? I was already looking it up on google maps as she spoke. It was only five hours away.

"Do you want to go?" I asked.

Before the movie was over we were in the car and on our way to Lake Placid. The trip up took us over the Throggs Neck Bridge, to the George Washington Bridge, through Jersey where we stopped for gas because it is 30 cents cheaper and they pump the gas in Jersey, to the NY Thruway where the speed limit is 65 and finally to the Adirondack region. It was like a race with time as we were trying to get to Lake Placid before it got to dark.

As we approached the mountains we watched the peaks disappearing up into the clouds and they were magnificent. Eventually we left the large highways for some smaller roads winding through the mountains. It was at this point where we started adding up the possible distractions to our little road trip. First there were the long drops at the side of the highway, then there were the curvy roads which brought more attention to the long drops, then there were the 'deer crossing signs' which brought more attention to the curvy roads since deer could appear around the corner and you wouldn't have room to swerve because of the long drops, next we added snow (enough that the ground was getting slightly coated) which would be fun in case you needed to stop short because a deer appeared around the corner of the curvy road while you swerved towards a large drop.

Then the deer did appear!

He materialized on the road, I swear, and he was huge. I saw him, processed him looked in my rear view mirror to make sure no one was right behind me and stopped in about .00002 of a second.  :-) Then the deer disappeared into the woods again. I'm not good at judging exact size and distance but he fell into the category of to big and to close for comfort :-) A few miles later we saw a sign warning about moose. I am sad and glad at the same time that we didn't see any moose.

We continued through the cute town of Keene, NY (home of the high peaks as it says on the welcome signs). Finally we came to the town of Lake Placid.

The town itself was bustling with people coming in and out of little stores and restaurants. As we drove we saw the buildings adorned with the Olympic Rings. We went down one street where the stores on one side lined the banks of Mirror Lake. We continued around to Lake Placid (planning to return to Mirror Lake).

The weather and the snow caused a neat effect on the mountains in the back ground. We then returned back to Mirror Lake.

I leaned around some bushes to try and get the picture of the lights reflecting off the water to show why it is called Mirror Lake.

Then we left Lake Placid and stopped at the Noon Mark Dinner for something to eat. The food was good and the home made pies (I had pecan and my Mom had blueberry) were amazing. Then we started the five hour drive home. Now in order to get home we selected a route which would not take us over the George Washington bridge because you pay the toll in one direction. So while we didn't pay leaving NY we would have to $12.00 to re-enter NY. So we ended up taking a route through the Catskills and around the Bronx to return to the Whitestone Bridge and back to Long Island. I can't wait to live some place where I don't have to pay 6-12 dollars just to leave/enter.

The trip was a fun drive with some really really beautiful views. I am certain we will go back some time as proper tourists (and probably with my sister) to enjoy all the sights and history.

And by the way hats off and three cheers for the coolest Mom ever. Who when I said "It's only five hours want to go?" said "yes!" And made this little adventure possible.

Happy Thanksgiving!

If I listed all the things I am thankful for I could be here all day but here is a short list:

I am thankful for the best Mom anyone could ask for. She has shown me who I want to be by the example she sets every day.

I am thankful for my Dad. He has left me with his sense of humor and an ability to appreciate a good story.

I am thankful for Meghan. I can't imagine not having my sister and best friend rolled into one.

I am thankful for my extended family. There are family members I now talk to almost every day that previously I had gone for years without talking too. I love my family and I hope they know they can call me if they ever need too.

I am thankful for my friends and coworkers. I am surrounded by good people every day some of you are like family to me and I enjoy your company.

I am thankful for my house. Even though I am not living in it yet. I have it. Next month will mark one year of mortgage payments down with 29 to go. I have projects planned for the yard and I look forward to spending many years making wonderful memories in that house!

I am thankful for the memories of those who have passed away. Everyone we meet whether it's just for a short time of for years is important. I like to think of every interaction as a chance to learn about myself and others. Good or bad our interactions can teach us about how and who we want to be.

I am Thankful for my life. It isn't what I planned but nothing really ever does go as planned. I have my family and friends, my job, and my house. I have 31 wonderful years of memories filled with fun and love and I look forward to many more.

Kolobok Kolobok!

I am a firm believer in the thought that things happen for a reason but when we were on a train going to Coney Island and it stopped two stops short I completely forgot that I thought that and was just annoyed at the delay. We exited the station and started walking though Brighton Beach towards Coney Island. We passed by a store that I had bought a couple of Russian Nesting Dolls from in the past. I was thrilled to see this store because I thought it had been heavily damaged during Super Storm Sandy and didn't know it had re-opened. So of course I couldn't just walk on by. I went inside to look around at the different items. I was looking for a Nesting doll that was unique so I wasn't necessarily looking for something with a signature (though obviously that is a bonus and would entice me to spend more than for an unsigned doll).

At first I was looking at a cute doll that was a Santa Claus figure and was in the shape of a cone and the center piece was a Christmas Tree. Then I saw a larger Nesting Doll in the shape of a bear. So I opened it up and inside was a fox. I opened that one up and there was this strange little round thing with feet. I was very confused by the little thing. We asked one of the employees what the story was behind the little figures. She responded "Kolobok Kolobok." We were confused. And seeing our confusion she repeated "Kolobok Kolobok!" She walked off and another employee came over and told us Kolobok was a pastry and it was from a Russian fairytale. Then the original employee came back with a book of Russian of Russian Fairytales and opened to the page with the story of Kolobok.

Kolobok!

Once upon a time an old man and woman lived in a village.

One day the old man said to the old woman: "Grandmother, 

go scrape in the flour-tin and sweep the corn-bin,

perhaps you will get enough flour to make a Kolobok."

The old woman went off and scraped the flour-tin and swept 

the bottom of the corn-bin and she got a coupe of handfulls of flour.

She mixed the flour with sour cream and shaped it into a

Kolobok- a kind of little round bun.

Then she baked it in the oven

and left it on the window sill to cool.

The Kolobok lay thee for a good while

then suddenly it got up and rolled.

It rolled from the sill to the bench,

from the bench to the floor,

across the floor to the door, 

it hopped over the threshold and into the hall,

from the hall it rolled onto the porch,

from the porch into the garden, and then from the garden it rolled out the gate.

Further and further it went ....

The Kolobok rolled down the road until it meet a Bear.

"Ah Kolobok, Kolobok, I'll eat you now!"

"Don't eat me, Bear! I'll sing you a song:

I'm Kolobok, Kolobok!

I was scraped up in the flour-tin,

swept up from the corn-bin,

mixed with sour cream into a bun,

baked in the oven till I was done,

then left on the sill till I cooled some.

I ran away from Grandfather, 

I ran away from Grandmother too,

And I'm sure I'll have no trouble, Bear,

running away from you!"

And off it rolled down the road,

so fast that the Bear could only stare.

The Kolobok rolled down the road until it met a Fox:

"Ah Kolobok, Kolobok, Where are you going!"

"I'm just rolling along the road."

"Kolobok, Kolobok sing me your song."

And the Kolobok began:

"I'm Kolobok, Kolobok!

I was scraped up in the flour-tin,

swept up from the corn-bin,

mixed with sour cream into a bun,

baked in the oven till I was done,

then left on the sill till I cooled some.

I ran away from Grandfather, 

I ran away from Grandmother,

and I ran away from the big bear too

And I'm sure I'll have no trouble, Fox, running away from you!"

But the Fox said:

"What a fine song. But, you know I am rather hard of hearing,

Kolobok, be so kind as to sit on my nose and sing your song again."

The Kolobok hopped onto the Fox's nose and sang the song.

But the fox said:

"Kolobok, be so kind as to sit on my tongue and sing your song a little louder

just one more time!"

The Kolobok hopped onto the Fox's tongue and -SNAP- 

The fox gobbled it up!

And there it is Kolobok! Kolobok!

If 30 Years Doesn't Come

I got some horrible news last week. One of my coworkers had passed away. He was only 36. I have worked with him for five years and I think the best way I can sum up my feelings is that the world was a better place with him in it. He was kind and caring and always so sweet. He would always say hello and do this little bow and ask how you are doing. And now the world is sadder for it's loss.

Whenever you lose someone it causes reflection. But when you lose someone that young and so suddenly I think it makes you pause and reflect even more. I mean there are so many questions from basic practical questions to questions that cut to the core of who you are and how you live your life. For example a good practical question "Do I have life insurance?" And then the deeper questions. Am I really living or am I just going through motions? If there was no tomorrow would I be happy with what I have done? Do I do my best at everything I do? Do I enjoy every minute and get the most out of it?

It makes you wonder if today was my last day would I be satisfied? Or if today was one of my friend's or family's last day did we say what needed to be said? Do I let the people in my life know how I really feel? And if every interaction could be the last I have with someone did I act in a way I would be happy with?

I want to enjoy my time, my friends, and my family. And I need to live my life in a way that those people around me know how I feel

I want to slow down and take my time so that, like my coworker, I can make time to say hello and ask how someone is doing. I mean so often I will walk by someone with may be a nod or quick eye contact. But have I taken the time to know the people I work with? Because you never know when you could run out of chances. And then you are just left with regret.

SteamPunk before it was cool

So I went to the Metropolitan museum a while ago on the last day they were giving out the metal tokens. There are a number of advantages to going to a museum by yourself. One is getting to pick where you go and be a total nerd taking as long as you like in front of whatever you like :-)

On my trip I discovered something I had never seen in any of my previous trips: The Roentgen's Berlin Secretary Closet.

It caught my attention because of it's beauty and craftsmanship. But kept my attention because of it's amazing secrets. Behind all that spectacular painting, woodwork, and detail are dozens of hidden compartments. By the push of button gears and pulleys inside the closet open and close all kinds of different compartments. It is one of the most famous pieces to come from Abraham (1711-1793) and David Roentgen's (1743-1807) workshop. It has a writing desk and and a beautiful clock and behind that facade is a host of hidden storage, drawers, shelves, a strong box, and an easel. On the front panel are two key holes. The one on the left opens the panel to reveal storage. The hole on the left opens up the side panels by turning the key a quarter turn to either the right or the left.

Here is a video from the Met website showing all the secret compartments and a few views of the internal mechanisms amazingly from the late 1700s.

New York is home but it ain't mine no more.

The ABF  truck was dropped off at my house in TN last Thursday just a few hours before my Mom and I arrived. Which was perfect timing since it allowed us to start unpacking it as soon as we got settled from the drive. We unpacked the truck for several hours until it was about half empty and then called it a night since we were tired from the drive. The next morning we had some of the NY bagels we brought with us and then started unpacking again. The night before we had taken out the furniture and we were now up to boxes of various wonderful things that I had found in my attics that at this point had survived so long I couldn't see just trashing them or giving them away. I mean all kinds of wonderful collectible things from the 80s and 90s; for example this entire collection of Nightmare Before Christmas action figures (Tim Burton's finest accomplishment).

It was another successful packing job. The only shift involved three boxes at the very back. One box had suffered a partial collapse and the two boxes on top had fallen forward. Luckily my wall of cardboard and bungee cords did their job and prevented any damage. About half way through Friday we finished unloading the truck. I called ABF to let them know we were done and it was ready for pickup. They picked it up sometime around six pm. I have nothing but good things to say about ABF. The drivers were all nice, the truck was dropped off and picked up in a timely manner, and the pricing was very fair. They definitely get a highly recommend from me!

The next step in the moving weekend was to make a few trips to my Mom's condo. We had packed a lot of kitchen items that we aren't using right now and some of my Great Aunt's things which will eventually be in my Mom's condo as well as my Mom's patio furniture. So while we had the time we took what we could over. It resulted in my truck looking like a vehicle you change lanes to get away from quickly!

That was how we spent the rest of Friday driving back and forth between the condo and my house and unpacking what we could in the condo. We stopped at a nice place near where Meghan works called the Brewhouse. It is an open air restaurant and since TN has nice warm weather for most of the year I can see this being a good spot to stop for karaoke and pub trivia!

Saturday we ran a bunch of errands and made some more trips to the condo. We did have time for a little fun. First I got a tablecloth for my dining room table and the room is starting to come together very nicely!

We also built our pumpkin witch. This was something we always did as kids. My Mom got the idea from a vegetable store she remembered as a kid in Brooklyn. Every Halloween the owner would make one and display it as a decoration.

It is a quick and easy decoration and very fun to do with kids, well I had fun as a kid. We used lettuce for her hair, bread and grapes for her eyes, a green pepper for her ears, red pepper for her lips, candy corn for her teeth, a raisin for her nose wart, and an Italian pepper for her nose. Also in between errands we stopped by a party being thrown at one of the empty lots in the development. It was a good chance to meet some of my new neighbors and we discovered that the area gets almost 300 trick or treaters.

Then I had dinner in my house on my birthday which coincidentally was the year anniversary of my being a home owner. By next year I will be permanently living there and not just visiting. That night we went into Nashville (I mean come on it was a vacation we had to have a little fun). First we stopped at The Wheel in downtown for a shot of fireball whiskey, which um...... my Mom did not appreciate. Then we moved up Broadway to The Full Moon Saloon. We liked the second bar (and band) much better and we stayed there for the rest of the night.

Sunday we started back to NY. Unfortunately so did the remnants of tropical storm Karen. As we were driving back the tornado warnings were moving with us. At one point my Mom said "We need to have a plan for if we see a tornado." I answered "I have a plan there is a video camera in my backpack and I can take pictures with my i-phone." Luckily we didn't see any tornados though there were some threatening looking clouds and a lot of drenching rain.

When we got back to NY it seemed to really hit. The house is mostly empty and strangely silent. My real home is in TN. This is just where I live right now.