Merry Christmas 2018

Amazingly enough this is the sixth Christmas since I bought my house! So just 24 more years of debt and then I will own it :-)

Growing up in NY Christmas traditions for us involved going into Manhattan and seeing the decorated store windows of large department stores like Macy's and Saks 5th Avenue. I saw on the news that this year was Lord and Taylor's last Christmas season and the building will be taken over by some kind of staffing company.

At Macy's when we were little we would visit Santa and see the amazing workshop that was designed every year featuring elves working and a large train display. That would be followed up by a puppet show in a small theater. I know the display has changed a lot since I was a child; much of the old display has been swapped out for tv screens that kids can interact with instead of just looking around I suppose. I don't know if the puppet show is still there but I hope it is.

We would also fight the city crowds to see the tree at Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick's Cathedral, and the famed toy store FAO Schwartz.

Each year even though we did the same thing there were changes in the decorations and it was always different. The city is a pretty awesome place to be around Christmas time. The smell of chestnuts and roasted peanuts fills the air and sometimes if you are lucky you will get a flurry of snow, the perfect amount to make it pretty but not stick and cause a mess. I mean also be prepared to be buried in a sea of humanity balancing between people who are in way too much of a hurry and other people who are going way too slow. You will be crammed on to sidewalks where there is no space to move side to side and you have to let the crowd take you.

This yearly tradition was so important to us that the year Meg was in a car accident we rented a wheel chair for her to use so we could go into Manhattan together. It was a struggle for sure. While most of the streets have handicapped ramps a lot of those ramps are in bad shape ( I accidentally almost dumped Meg at least twice) also that sea of humanity I mentioned earlier. They were standing in front of the ramps waiting to cross in the opposite direction so even finding space to get back on the sidewalk was challenging. But this year also lead to one of my favorite memories of all at Christmas and certainly on the Long Island Rail Road, LIRR. We were getting on the train to come home. Certain train cars  have reserved seats for handicapped. The seat bottom can flip up to allow space for wheelchairs, walkers, and carriages. We finally found a train car that 1. had enough room for us to get on and 2. was a handicapped train car. We got on and the people sitting in the handicapped seats did not get up. Which we were not fighting with them on because we had room to be in and Meg was sitting in the chair it just meant we were in open area where the doors were. Well these two boys (and by boys I mean probably my age at the time so mid/early 20s) got on and looked around. They saw Meg in the wheelchair in the doorway where there is standing room and the people all sitting in the handicap seats. Now these boys were apparently at the perfect level of intoxication for the moment. Any more intoxicated and they may not have noticed any less and they may have just gone about their night like we had accepted. But not them. They were drunk enough to lose that inhibition of just keeping ones mouth shut and minding their own business. So they looked from Meg to the handicapped seats and said (paraphrase) "Those seats are handicapped seats what is wrong with you. Move. She is in a f-----g wheel chair. You can stand." And the people got up, we pushed Meg into the space now clear because we could raise the seats, and the boys wished us a Merry Christmas and went on to find themselves some place to sit.

Not every year but several times we also went to Dyker Heights in Brooklyn to see some of the most amazing decorations as an entire neighborhood works to out decorate their neighbor.

Now that we are in TN a trip to Manhattan would be a bit far so we have new yearly traditions. We drove out to Lynchburg to see the Jack Daniel's distillery and the "Barrel Tree" and then spent half the day walking around the town looking in small craft and antique shops.

We drove back to Nashville and walked around the Gaylord Omni Hotel and Convention Center to see the beautiful light displays in the Delta, Cascades, and Magnolia lobby. And then we went to the Wilson County Fairgrounds to see the Dancing Lights of Christmas. If you are near Nashville this is so worth it! Dancing Lights The Dancing Lights are over an hour of music that plays over the radio while you are completely immersed in a synchronized light show. It is beautiful. 

Then I came home to my house and got to enjoy my own Christmas decorations. Which take a really really long time to put up so that on one day I can have family over to enjoy the decorations :-) Well accept for outside lots of people could see that as they drive by and there is part of me that thinks back to years of seeing the windows in New York City or the decorations on the houses in Dyker Heights Brooklyn and this is my mini version of their work. 

I do want to add more outside and I think I slowly will. 

My goal is also to eventually have decorations in every room of my first floor. In my living room I have a display around the fireplace.

I also have Meghan's Nutcrackers, Meghan's Santa collection, and a variety of snow globes that my Mom has collected over the years, my Russian Nesting doll collection, a variety of Penguins cause they are awesome, and a beautiful angel display with a Church and Noel and Peace, and our Nativity display from Naples, Italy.

Each piece was handmade and has amazing detail on them.

I know some people set the Nativity up immediately with the complete Holy Family but we have always left out Jesus until Christmas Day.

In my sitting room I have my tree and Christmas Village. Now my village is a lot of pieces that I have bought at Good Will or as end of season displays. As a result many don't have boxes and some had little delicate pieces that have broken off. So I set up myself a work station of amazing awesome loctite and multiple sizes of batteries (at the end of each season I take batteries out). Tip tried to help, and by help I mean got in my way at every step and knocked the batteries and glue off my table whenever I put them down. 

It took me two days to get everything out of storage, set up, batteries, glued, and plugged in and I think it came out well.

And of course our Christmas Tree.

Thank you for checking out my Christmas decorations and have a Merry Christmas I wish anyone reading this a joyous holiday season and a healthy and Happy New Year. I know this is a fun post about decorations but the most important thing about these decorations or the traditions that we have had or still continue is that they are spent with loved ones- friends and family. Whether it was going into the city or spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Days surrounded by people who loved us the holidays are best spent with others. 

Merry Christmas!

I Remember

I was sitting in a purple bean bag chair in the common section of my dorm. Humanities had ended and I had a break before my next class began. It was a beautiful Tuesday and only the second day of my sophomore year. The bean bag chair wasn't mine but it was comfortable and very inviting. I had been sitting there for only a few minutes when one of the juniors burst through the door. She had just spoken to her father. Someone had flown two planes into the World Trade Center towers. I jumped up and ran to my room. My Mom worked in Manhattan, close to the towers but I wasn't certain how close. I had a subway map in my room, of course I did. I was in NH, 4 hours away from my home, and kept reminders of NY everywhere. I found her subway stop and then I found the World Trade Center, two subway stops which meant she was 6-8 blocks away from the towers. I took out my cell phone and tried every number in my phone book.

"All circuits are busy." was the message I got over and over again.

I dropped my phone and ran across campus to the library where Meghan would be sitting and waiting for class to start. I entered the classroom and she wasn't there. Someone had popped into the room and announced that NYC had been bombed and then left the room. She was in the bathroom. I found her and told her that planes had been flown into the towers and that I had tried every number I could think of and couldn't get through. We went back to the classroom and sat down. I don't know why. Well . . .. I do know why. We sat down because that was where we were supposed to be and having tried to call every number I could think of and being unable to get through there was nothing else we could do. Our teacher had come in and the class was starting and we sat down.

I don't remember the class. I have been told by a number of my classmates that this was one of our teacher's best classes and I regret that I can't remember it. My mind was somewhere else that I can't remember. I was wondering where my Mom was, trying to think if there was another number I could call, wondering why all circuits were busy, wondering where my Dad was, and a whole host of other thoughts. I was probably wondering why? I'm certain I was wondering why. I was thinking about the fact that those were our towers. They were the twin towers and we were twins. The one with the antenna was mine because I was older (and at various points while growing up I was taller). The other one was Meghan's.

The only thing I remember from the class is that at the end my teacher offered me her phone. I said no because I didn't have phone numbers memorized, they were saved in my phone. I then left the classroom because for some reason I had dropped my phone in my room and now didn't have it with me to try and call. Meghan was behind me a few feet. I saw one of the faculty members coming towards me from the administrative building. She told me that my Dad had called. He said that my Mom was covered in soot but was ok and they would call later. I was so relieved I started to cry. That was all I could do. I couldn't speak and I turned to see my sister and two friend's and I held my thumb up as a sign that everything was ok.

We watched the news for the rest of the day and waited for our parents to call.



A few years later I went into the city on the anniversary of 9/11 with my Mom and Uncle. I had been back to the sight of the towers but never on the actual day. I wanted to see the towers of light. When it finally got dark enough and we could see the towers of light we could see little twinkling spots in the lights. As we walked closer we wondered what they were. They looked like stars twinkling or maybe balloons floating up the towers reflecting the lights. We thought maybe they had been let go in memory of the over 2000 killed, it certainly looked like there were 2000 little stars in the beams traveling up them. We kept watching them and trying to guess what they really were. We never would have come up with the actual answer. They were bugs and birds attracted to the light, perhaps, natures own memorial to the lost.

A few years later Meg and I went into the city on 9/11 again. This time Meg wanted to see the towers. We walked around down town and then went to midtown by Bryant park. In Bryant park there was a type writer set up for people to type anything: thoughts, memories. messages to others. Meg thinks they were collected and put in a museum somewhere. I typed something but I don't remember what. It was nice to type on the old style type writer and watch each letter stamped on to the page.

A couple of years ago I saw a painting in a store and bought it for my Mom. It was a picture of the towers (really the sky line) with a low orange light in the sky and above it a blue sky. It made me think of her and I thought she would like it.

One year we also went to the field in Shanksville, PA where flight 93 was taken down. For me it felt completely different then Ground Zero. It made me feel peaceful. It was a very solemn place and beautiful. I think part of the difference is because the people on the plane re-took control.



It is hard to understand the emotion felt by that day and the days following. The attack was felt throughout the country, differently by everyone. I have tried very hard to understand my feelings and emotions. I was lucky. I knew I was lucky. My Mom had been there and was home safe. A lot of people were not so lucky. I was 250 miles away in NH watching the news. It was year's later when I learned the term for what I was feeling. It is survivor's guilt. Because I wasn't there and my Mom was. And she got home safely and so many people weren't so lucky and I felt guilty that I was happy because I was so lucky. I still do when I think about that day. And I know I am not alone.

I will never forget this day. I will never forget the fear and confusion. I will never forget watching the news and wondering about the people- fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, friends, daughters, sisters, wives, mothers- inside those buildings struggling to get out or on those planes and the family members waiting for word from them.

Tomorrow I hope everyone takes a moment to think about what is important in life. I know I will.