The best bad dog ever

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."- Roger Caras

A few months ago my Mom shared a post on Facebook about why we mourn the loss of pets, specifically dogs, so deeply. I read it but posted back quickly that I had no need of this post because Schultzy, our thirteen year old German Shepherd, had years left. After all she was "the Baby". And usually when we called her that it was followed by quoting the baby from the 90's TV show dinosaurs. You know the one that would always say "I'm the Baby; gotta love me."

I'm the baby

I was wrong. 

Meg and I got home from work late on July 4th and since the next night we were working overnight and didn't have to be back to  work until 6pm we decided to stay up late and watch a movie. Which is why at 1am we were on the couch in the living room while Schultzy sat chewing on her pacifier. Meghan noticed something wrong before I did. But it only took her a moment to realize what was happening. Schultzy was having a seizure. I jumped off the couch to try and keep her still. Meg began searching for the phone number of the emergency vet that our regular vet recommended in a previous conversation. Maybe it took her 2 minutes. Then she was on the phone with them telling them what was happening. They tried to figure out if there was some place closer to bring her but it was only a minute difference in time. Schultzy was still seizing. She would try to get up but couldn't. Her paws were stretched out locked at the elbows. Her brown eyes at some points seemed blood shot and would roll back and then return. A few times it seemed like it was stopping but then it would start up again. 

We folded up a quilt and lied it next to her. I was afraid we would not be able to get her up and into the car. But we were able to get her on the quilt and lift her. As we were walking out of the garage she bit the handle of a jug. It took almost a minute at least for Meg to get her to release. She also bit the blanket when it was close to her mouth. We got her in the back of the car and I sat back with her again trying to keep her calm. Meg began driving towards the vet. 

We both kept talking to her as I pet and rubbed her ears. She loved that, being pet behind the ears. And she always loved being spoken to. Even though we were pretty sure she was going deaf she still would react to us speaking to her. I'm sure she recognized facial expressions and probably some lip movements. She was very smart. She knew several hand commands and I don't think it was a stretch that she would recognize lip movements of words like a hand command. After all when we had begun spelling words that she knew like 'leash' and 'treat' she eventually recognized the spelling as the word. 

When we pulled into the parking lot the vet was ready with a wheeled table and they rushed her inside. By now the seizure had been going on for at the least 40 minutes. We knew. We knew in the car as we drove. We knew in the house when it didn't stop after five minutes. We knew. 

There is one thing in this world that Schultzy always wanted. And that was to be with us. She wanted to be in the room with us right at our feet. If we split up into multiple rooms she would lie in between them or have to constantly check where we were. She had a wonderful knack for lying down and settling exactly where we needed to be. If we were in the kitchen at the sink she would lie in front of the dishwasher. She would lie in doorways and on feet so that no one could move without her.  

So if there is one good thing about this. It is that if it was going to happen at least it happened when we were home down stairs with her. In the vet's office we stood with her. She was calmed by medicine but her legs were still locked because even after three rounds of medicine the seizure was still progressing. We both stood with her, petting her and rubbing her ears, looking her in the eyes, and speaking to her until she had passed. 

Schultzy had very expressive eyes. Looking in her eyes I could tell she was confused. But also she knew we were with her and she believed us when we told her she would be ok. And that it would be ok.

The vet said that we couldn't know for certain without further testing but it is likely she may have had a brain tumor and that we couldn't have known and not to try and think for missed signs. But there was one strange moment a little less then two weeks ago when our three cats (Tipperary, Roma, and Napoli) who normally avoided Schultzy all decided to come down and sit with us and her. Maybe they sensed something. 

It is very strange waking up in the morning and not having to come walk her. Or coming home and not having her here waiting. 

And now it is silly things that keep coming to mind. Like the way she held her favorite toy, her pacifier, when she chewed on it. Or how she would sleep on it.

And also she loved water. She would drink until her bowl was empty ever since she was a puppy. And she loved snow and ice. In fact ice cubes were her favorite dog treat. 

We called her the best bad dog ever. She had very high anxiety and if she were left alone she would destroy anything. She ate a linoleum floor as a puppy, she broke a door and door handle, she put a hole in the drywall, she ate out the cat door in my laundry room to make it big enough for her to fit through, and she destroyed two dog cages. But at the root of all her bad behavior was a desire to be with us just to be near those who loved her. Which is why she was the best most loyal bad dog. And no matter what she did you couldn't stay mad at her when she looked up with those deep eyes. She was a crazy dog and now our lives are a little less crazy without her. 

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."- Aeschylus

Schultzy

Schultzy is my thirteen year old German Shepherd Dog (GSD)- I'm leaving the dog because on a lot of official sites discussing German Shepherds they add dog at the end and I think it's funny and wonder why the need to clarify . . .  in case we get confused with other German Shepherd species? I have never seen a Poodle called a Poodle Dog it always just seems to be assumed.

Anyway . . .  Last vet visit she was around 80 lbs. Which means thirteen short years ago I brought home a 10 lb wrecking ball and she has mutated to 8x that size. And by wrecking ball . .. . I mean WRECKING BALL!

Here she is as a young dog probably close to two years old. I know she is very young because she hadn't grown into her tail yet. For some reason though I don't have any baby baby pictures of her.

Schultzy at Montauk enjoying the ocean

Shortly after bringing her home Schultzy ate a brand new linoleum floor. A trainer we had hired for some behavior classes told us the unsurprising news that she had a very powerful jaw. We had already learned that several times. The dog can chew, bite, and eat through anything she wants. Add that on top of the fact that she is high anxiety (including separation anxiety) and literally too smart for her own good.

For the most part her destructiveness, we realize, was our fault. She was left alone too long and got bored. When she got bored she got anxious; when she got anxious floors got eaten. It's a circle. Besides the floor her greatest act of destruction was my laundry room door. The previous owners had a cat door into the laundry room which is where I assume they kept the litter box... that is the only reason I can think of for having a cat door there. At first she would stick her nose out of the cat door (that is all that would fit) and we thought it was adorable.

Hey I can't fit!

But then she realized with a little work she could fix her door.

All better!

Car trip!

That being said we call her the Baby and constantly tell her she is the best "bad dog" ever!  She knows her commands and follows them when she chooses- thankfully it is most the time. And there are definitely times where we want to kill her. But then you look at her loving face and brown eyes and realize all she wants is our attention and to be with us doing something. Well, now that she is thirteen she just wants to be with us at our feet sleeping but up until eleven she wanted to do something! Constantly! I remember when she was nine at one of her last vet visits in NY the vet said if not for the fact they had been seeing her since she was a puppy they wouldn't believe her age. She acted more like two than nine.  I feel like we have finally entered the good dog phase. Sometimes she gets up slowly and her face has much more white in it than she once did but other than that I don't think anyone meeting her would guess her age.

Schultzy loves water in any form! Her favorite treat is ice! She gets excited whenever she hears the fridge ice maker and I am probably lucky she hasn't figured out how to dispense the ice herself.

A bowl of ice with frozen toys!

She also loves snow. 

Happy Baby!

Evil Baby!

And playing in water!

Baby in her pool.

In the ocean.

She has a favorite toy that she loves to chew on and brings everywhere with her. It is the first thing she grabs when it is time to go to bed. We call it her pacifier. A long time ago it was a smart toy that we would put treats into and as she chewed it the treats would fall out. It has been a long time since we actually used treats in it but she doesn't seem to mind. She loves it so much that we have bought them in bulk so that we have easy replacements for when one gets too chewed.

Baby and her pacifier

Look closely how she holds her pacifier with her paw. I love how she does this! She also sometimes balances the middle of the pacifier over her leg.

Holding tight.

And that's the Baby!

Then

Now

A Chapter Begins.

Well I can't say this is the last time I will be making the drive from NY to TN but it is the last time I will have a vehicle so loaded up that you would change lanes to get away from me on the highway.

In case you are wondering everything made it just fine :-) I had worked and then finished loading the car before my Mom and I hit the road. Since both of us had worked we planned to drive until about midnight before pulling off at a hotel and spending the night. We were both slightly concerned about someone trying to steal from our car but it would have taken a lot of effort to untangle the mess of bungee cords. Also the hotel kindly allowed us to park in their covered entrance since that is where the security cameras were located. We slept and were back on the road by 7am.

I want to say it was around 3pm when we passed Nashville and it's unique skyline complete with the building we affectionately refer to as Batman.

Which means that around 3:30 pm we passed this sign and we were at my new home. 

There is a lot to do when you move, especially when you move to another state. I had to get my license and re-register my car. I had hoped to get both of these things done in the first couple of days that I was in TN but it wasn't meant to be. I had been able to open a new bank account but my transfer had gone through so quickly that my utility bills hadn't started coming to my new address yet. So I didn't have enough to prove address change in order to get my license. Also I couldn't register Tramp, my car - named after a Bruce Springsteen song, because I couldn't find my NY title which is probably in a very safe location in a box labelled papers . . . . or kitchen supplies . . . . we may have labelled it kitchen supplies in case the ABF truck got broken into because who cares about kitchen supplies but a box labelled paperwork has identity theft written all over it . . . literally. Anyway  I needed the copy of my NY title to arrive so that I could reregister the car. It came eventually as did some utility bulls and I now have my TN license and my truck is now officially a TN resident.

Complete with Smokey Mountain license plate

I want to say that for the first two weeks it did not feel real. I still felt like I was visiting and would be driving back to NY soon. Now that feeling has passed and I am looking forward to future backyard projects and a lifetime of memories in TN.