I believe in Santa Claus

When my sister and I were children my parents went to great lengths to keep us believing in Santa Claus. It helped that we never found where my parents hid the presents so literally they did appear magically every Christmas.

One year when they began to suspect we were doubting the possibility of Santa they staged a photo of my Mom and Santa. They they took a plastic candy cane cup and lined it with white paper (making it look like it was a glass of milk). They hung the cup like an ornament from the tree so it appeared to be floating in mid air. My Mom then posed next to the floating cup in front of the Christmas tree and my Dad took some pictures. Mission success! We couldn't argue with the photo proof and had no other way to explain a floating cup.

Later we were finally getting to the point where we could manage to stay up all night. And what better night to test that wonderful new ability then Christmas Eve. So we settled in the hall upstairs and watched down the stairs at the tree. A few hours went by and I fell asleep. Meg was more successful and managed to stay up all night until my parents came yelling in to the living room telling us to get up right now and come down stairs. They said we were going out to get breakfast and we had really done it. Santa Claus wasn't coming there would be no gifts under the tree. Maybe if we were lucky Santa Claus would come back while we were at breakfast. Well I spent the car ride and the breakfast literally praying to Santa Claus to bring Meg's presents because it was my idea and she only stayed up all night because I wanted too. Apparently Meg spent the whole car ride and breakfast thinking Santa Claus should bring my presents since she after all was able to stay awake and I had gone to sleep. We got home to find all our presents neatly wrapped and under the tree. Magic!

Eventually one day when talking with my Mom we told her we obviously no longer believed in Santa Claus. She said she knew but my Dad would be sad.

However it wasn't true that we didn't believe in Santa Claus. Sure we no longer believed in the magical man that flew around the world at night popping down chimney's and leaving presents. But we believed in the love of giving that Santa Claus embodied. We believed in the expression of love and good will to all. So we didn't believe in the person but we believed in the spirit. Why did my parents fight so hard to keep us believing in Santa Claus? Their Christmas could have been a lot cheaper if when we first showed doubts they acknowledged the story and moved on. But there was a sense of magic that they didn't want to give up yet. And what that taught Meg and I was the joy of giving. Because when we were little we certainly knew about the joy of receiving. That came easy. But when we look back now we can appreciate the work and sacrifice our parents did all to see us happy. And that is the point of Santa Claus when you become an adult.

The children all snug in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads are eagerly anticipating the wonderful gifts. The parents are eagerly anticipating the joy of their children when they receive the gifts. And surely that is the spirit of Santa Claus. I remember the joy of seeing presents under the Christmas tree: some for Meghan, some for me, and some labelled for both to share. I remember sitting in the living room surrounded by ripped open wrapping paper and toys and books and being so incredibly happy. Now as an adult I want to make other people feel that way. So now when I think of Christmas I remember the joy I felt receiving and I look forward to the joy I will feel giving, watching others receive. When I get presents for Meg or my Mom or other family members and friends it is with the great anticipation of how happy they will be when they get these gifts. How will they use them, play with them, read them, or enjoy them? I was very excited the first time I bought gifts for family and friends with my own money (instead of just signing my name to a gift my parents had bought) because it was my own gift. I find the joy in giving, I like to give, and I wish I could give more.

Christmas is a time of celebration of love, life, family, and friends. And so raise a glass and toast the spirit of Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

A thought on what Religious Tolerance means to me

Back in 2008 a movie came to theaters called The Boy in The Striped Pajamas. It was about two young boys in WWII Germany. One was the son of a high ranking German officer and the other boy was a prisoner in a concentration camp. The movie is simple and beautiful.

My sister, mom, and I went to see it in the theater. There weren't many people at the theater. Other than the three of us there was maybe only five or six other people. We watched in silence as the story unfolded. At the end we stayed for the credits letting it sink in. Another group of three also stayed for the credits. As the credits ended we all got up but then kind of lingered in an aisle for a moment and talked about the movie. Then as we were leaving we wished them a Merry Christmas and they wished us a Happy Hanukkah. We all said thank you and were grateful for the good wishes as we continued out into the night.

They were not offended by our greeting and we were not offended by their greeting. To me that is religious tolerance. Not pretending different religions don't exist and never mentioning them. And to those claiming that a wish of Merry Christmas is forcing my views on you . . . it isn't. If you don't believe in Christmas or the meaning behind it then all I am saying to you is to have a nice December 25th. And I won't apologize for it and I won't take it back. Just like if someone wishes me a happy Jewish, Muslim, or any other religious holiday I won't feel forced or compelled to believe their beliefs.

But I will feel grateful that they took the moment to wish me well.

A trip to Dyker Heights Brooklyn.

I remember when we were young driving into Brooklyn and seeing these amazing beautiful homes decorated with life sized figurines all celebrating Christmas. I remember bits and pieces but my favorite house had life sized figures dressed in tuxedos and fancy dresses as guests at a Christmas party. Other houses had full sized choral singers and toy soldiers and just a wonderful array of lights. Some houses were subdued and classy others were over the top and eye grabbing.

So yesterday when I picked up my Mom from the train station I asked if she would like to take a drive back to Dyker Heights, since this is our last Christmas in NY, and see how the decorations have changed or if they are still the same. She was game so we went home and relaxed for a bit to allow traffic to finish clearing from the commute before we drove in.

Here are some of the highlights from our trip:

This stunning brick home had a giant Nutcracker guarding the front door as snow flakes dotted the building.

In this house Santa Claus looks out from the upstairs window as people walk and drive by enjoying the sights.

Speaking of Santa here he is climbing a ladder up to the roof top of the house on the corner of 86th and 13th avenue (I think)

For the next house I had to pull over and get out to get a picture. In their front yard was a light up pond complete with penguins and swans.  :-)

Here are some of the life sized figures that captured my attention as a child: toy soldiers guard this front door lit up beautifully by classic white light lined garland.

This house not only had toy soldiers but angels playing trumpets.

Here was a simply decorated house using lights to mimic garland and red bows. While strings of white lights brought out the architecture of not only the house but the multi-tiered yard.

I took a  picture of this house because the front nativity and the figures on the porch are the old fashioned plastic lawn decorations that I love. I prefer them over the new blow up decorations, probably because they remind me of when I was little and everyone had them.

This house is a Christmas wonderland with a giant Nutcracker, toy soldiers, an angel choir, angels playing trumpets, and two happy snowman.

There were so many different houses some that pictures would not do justice like this next house with a carousel, spinning toy soldier, and Christmas music.

Then I took video of several houses as I drove by to show all the figures lining the fences.

It was a nice night filled with holiday cheer. Lots of people lined the sidewalks looking down block after block of decorations.

Thank you to the people of Dyker Heights who probably have as much fun with this as the people who enjoy their displays.

Merry Christmas!

Affluenza: Since when is being rich a mitigating factor?

A 16 year old Texas boy confessed to intoxicated manslaughter. After stealing two cases of beer with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit he drove his pickup truck and, while speeding, slammed into four pedestrians who were fixing a flat tire on another vehicle. Two of the teen's passengers where also seriously injured. However at his sentencing he wasn't given the maximum penalty of 20 years in jail . . . in fact he wasn't given any jail time. He was placed on ten years probation and will be sent to rehab in Newport Beach, California. Now what mitigating factors could possibly have been involved to leave this teen and his very blatant disregard for human life with such a lenient sentence?

He is too rich.

Yes, his defense team claimed Affluenza as a mitigating factor to explain why this teen was incapable of controlling his behavior. The life of wealth, privilege, and few limits was apparently seen as a cause for the courts to take pity and not send him to jail but rather protect him. His attorney argued that jail would not give him the therapy he needed to overcome the disadvantage of being rich. Seriously?

I have heard of being poor as a mitigating factor. After all those who are poorer usually  have less parental involvement (both parents may be working or there may only be a single parent). Also those in poorer areas have less opportunities for education. So while ignorance of the law isn't a valid excuse the lack of education can be a mitigating factor. But I don't see how an affluent teen did not know that stealing, underage drinking, and speeding were illegal and dangerous activities. I'm not saying that the rich should be held to a higher standard but perhaps at least the same standard? And if, by the way, his wealth and easy life of few limits and no consequences is what caused this behavior didn't it just get reinforced? I think that means jail and a real consequence might be exactly what justice would demand. If he had been shop lifting or speeding and pulled over or just causing normal teen trouble and a judge ruled that he needed probation and not jail I could be a little more understanding. But this teen acted in a way that caused the death of four innocent people.

So he has an overweening sense of entitlement? That means he shouldn't be held responsible? He was 16. Not 10 or 12. He was old enough to know that drinking and driving was wrong. Unfortunately he was also old enough to know that Mom and Dad will get him out of trouble. And he was right.

This wasn't a case of him cheating on a test or cutting class. He showed a blatant disregard for human life by his actions. And I find it hard to swallow that we are to believe he didn't know what he was doing or that he was incapable of controlling himself. I mean, yes, an upbringing without limits would result in poor impulse control and probably a decrease in frontal lobe activity. But  I believe the decreased frontal lobe argument has already been attempted as a defense and it didn't work.

In my opinion it is insulting to the public and to the justice system that this new defense of Affluenza was even entertained let alone accepted.

It's only five hours away . . .want to go?

So a few weeks ago my Mom and I are sitting in our living room watching Miracle, about the 1980 USA hockey team. It is at the part when Herb Brooks is sitting on a bench outside watching ice skaters. My Mom comments that she has always wanted to go to Lake Placid, it is supposed to be beautiful. Then she asks how far is it? I was already looking it up on google maps as she spoke. It was only five hours away.

"Do you want to go?" I asked.

Before the movie was over we were in the car and on our way to Lake Placid. The trip up took us over the Throggs Neck Bridge, to the George Washington Bridge, through Jersey where we stopped for gas because it is 30 cents cheaper and they pump the gas in Jersey, to the NY Thruway where the speed limit is 65 and finally to the Adirondack region. It was like a race with time as we were trying to get to Lake Placid before it got to dark.

As we approached the mountains we watched the peaks disappearing up into the clouds and they were magnificent. Eventually we left the large highways for some smaller roads winding through the mountains. It was at this point where we started adding up the possible distractions to our little road trip. First there were the long drops at the side of the highway, then there were the curvy roads which brought more attention to the long drops, then there were the 'deer crossing signs' which brought more attention to the curvy roads since deer could appear around the corner and you wouldn't have room to swerve because of the long drops, next we added snow (enough that the ground was getting slightly coated) which would be fun in case you needed to stop short because a deer appeared around the corner of the curvy road while you swerved towards a large drop.

Then the deer did appear!

He materialized on the road, I swear, and he was huge. I saw him, processed him looked in my rear view mirror to make sure no one was right behind me and stopped in about .00002 of a second.  :-) Then the deer disappeared into the woods again. I'm not good at judging exact size and distance but he fell into the category of to big and to close for comfort :-) A few miles later we saw a sign warning about moose. I am sad and glad at the same time that we didn't see any moose.

We continued through the cute town of Keene, NY (home of the high peaks as it says on the welcome signs). Finally we came to the town of Lake Placid.

The town itself was bustling with people coming in and out of little stores and restaurants. As we drove we saw the buildings adorned with the Olympic Rings. We went down one street where the stores on one side lined the banks of Mirror Lake. We continued around to Lake Placid (planning to return to Mirror Lake).

The weather and the snow caused a neat effect on the mountains in the back ground. We then returned back to Mirror Lake.

I leaned around some bushes to try and get the picture of the lights reflecting off the water to show why it is called Mirror Lake.

Then we left Lake Placid and stopped at the Noon Mark Dinner for something to eat. The food was good and the home made pies (I had pecan and my Mom had blueberry) were amazing. Then we started the five hour drive home. Now in order to get home we selected a route which would not take us over the George Washington bridge because you pay the toll in one direction. So while we didn't pay leaving NY we would have to $12.00 to re-enter NY. So we ended up taking a route through the Catskills and around the Bronx to return to the Whitestone Bridge and back to Long Island. I can't wait to live some place where I don't have to pay 6-12 dollars just to leave/enter.

The trip was a fun drive with some really really beautiful views. I am certain we will go back some time as proper tourists (and probably with my sister) to enjoy all the sights and history.

And by the way hats off and three cheers for the coolest Mom ever. Who when I said "It's only five hours want to go?" said "yes!" And made this little adventure possible.