Monday, December 22, 2014

I wish it was that simple, Garth.

I remember sitting in my room singing every word to every song on Garth Brook's Fresh Horses cd when it first came out. In particular I remember singing along to the song "The Change". I sang along with such passion and emotion and I thought to myself that was me. I was never going to let the world change me. Every verse and chorus spoke to my 13 year old soul. The song started so quietly with a simple story:

"One hand reaches out and pulls a lost soul from harm 
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done by saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer in the fury of a storm."

I mean the song raised a good question. What was the point? What did it matter in the face of so many suffering if I did anything. One person helped while dozens more took their place so why bother. But the song had an answer as to what was the point.

"And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing.
But it's not the world that I am changing.
I do this so this world will know that it will not change me."

That was it. As pointless as it seemed in the big picture of the whole world didn't matter because there was this particular instance and in this instance I can have an effect and show the world that I would not give up. That I believed there could be a better world and I was not going to let everything going on around me change me from believing and working toward that goal. And then there was the reassurance from The Change a quick line in between the repeating chorus.

"As long as one heart still holds on then hope is never really gone."

And finally the quiet affirmation at the end.

"What I do is so this world will know
That it will not change me."

There is hope and that one heart is the singer. And I promised myself that was me. I would not change. Looking back it was a foolish child who promised myself that I would never change. I was 13 what did I know about the world? Of course I was going to change. I trusted people when I was 13. I didn't wonder about ulterior motives. If someone was nice to me I thought it was because they liked me not because they had some kind of agenda. I thought people were honest and that what they said to my face was what they really thought. That doesn't mean I hadn't met people who were nasty to me or my sister or my parents. But I remember having this theory that everyone I met whether they were good or bad to me had a purpose and something I could learn from them about who I wanted to be as a person. In every interaction I learned how I wanted to act toward people, whether I wanted to follow the example or I wanted to be better. I really believed that.

At times I look back at my old Pollyanna outlook and shake my head because I don't know if I believe that anymore. It seems so naive now to trust people.

And then earlier this year Garth Brooks released a new song "People Loving People". Once again I have a new song to listen to and memorize and it's amazing how Garth Brooks seems to be so perfect at putting out songs that speak to me, and, I'm sure lots of other people.

This line really got me.

"You won't find no resolution in the bottom of a bottle 
In the stars of Aristotle"

God knows I tried to find the answer in Plotinus, Plato, Aristotle, Augustine, Aquinas, Descartes, Kirkegaard, Camus, Pieper, and others. I never felt like I had a real answer. I tried to find it in Cleckley, Fromm, Arendt, Milgram, Hare, Faulkner, and Dostoevsky. I would find answers sure, but I am always left with more questions. It always boils down to many variations of two questions. How can people be capable of being so cruel to each other? And how do you stop that?

"People loving people
That's the enemy of everything that's evil.
Ain't no quick fix at the end of a needle.
It's just people loving people."

I wish 'people loving people' was as simple as it sounds. This is one of the questions that I have gone back and forth on. We are all human. We all share that common bond of humanity so how do we lose sight of that connection? And once lost how do we restore it? Right now everything divides us further and further. So how do we come together?

I still don't know.

Yes love. But if human history teaches us anything it is that loving each other does not come naturally.  We need to work at it. It's hard, it's not easy at all.

We need to respect each other. That is first and foremost. If we don't respect each other than we will never be willing to put the work in to love. Respect means recognizing and accepting the many differences among us. All of us.

We need to recognize the dignity in life. All lives matter was a growing phrase over the past couple of weeks. That needs to stay at the front of our minds.

We need empathy. We need it badly. Also there seems to be a growing trend that says empathy doesn't exist. Because that is part of what divides us. This idea that if you haven't experienced it you can't comment or understand it. I believe very strongly in empathy and being able to put yourself in another's place or state of mind. Just because we do not all share the same experiences does not mean we can't understand the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that certain situations cause.

So respect, dignity, and empathy all go into people loving people. It is definitely a continuation of what Garth Brooks first sang over 20 years ago. But he does have a new addition.

"You can pawn it off on kings and queens and those behind the curtain.
Say what can make a difference in a world so full of hurting.
But I believe the remedy starts right here with you and me.
People loving people."

You and me have a social responsibility to be that change. And we need to work together and we can do it.

Thank you Garth.

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